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Quality Time with your Teenager

By June 24, 2015 No Comments

As our children get older, many parents find that the parent child relationship changes. Your teenager may not share their feelings or experiences as much as when they were younger. It’s important as parents, that we keep the lines of communication open at all times and provide opportunities for incidental communication and sharing to occur. One such idea is the love bomb idea.
I have heard many versions of this idea over the years. I first heard of it many years ago when a fellow teacher mentioned that she gave each of her children one ‘school free’ day per year, to spend one on one with her- doing whatever the child chose to do (within financial constraints of course!)

Now you are probably thinking right now “Aren’t you an educator!?? How can you condone giving permission for a child to take a day off school!?”

Well, let me reassure you here! We are talking here about one day in the whole school year, and I firmly believe that the benefits far outweigh any negative effects on your child missing seven hours of their school career. Of course I am not advocating that they choose to take the day right in the middle of their mid -year exams or when they have a presentation due! But this is a date that is pre-planned and entered onto the family calendar. Of course, inform your child’s teacher also. However it is unmistakably a date! You might call it in your household a ‘love bomb’ day, Mother/Daughter, Mother/son date- whatever you choose to call it, ensure that it is a day (or weekend if you like) totally set aside for them.

The idea is that your child gets you entirely to themselves for that entire period (no quickly nicking into the post office to pay the electricity bill, no phone calls, email) just one on one time.

Your child gets to plan the entire day of their choosing- and yes, you may have to bite your tongue if they want to go look at cricket bats all day or try on clothes! You don’t necessarily have to leave the home but it does give it a sense of being a special treat of you do something out of the ordinary.

 

Ideas include:

  • -Brekky at a fancy restaurant (yes, Maccas is a little but fancy!)
  • -Dinner and a concert
  • -Go carting
  • -Lunch and movies
  • -Shopping
  • -spend the entire day at a theme park or amusement park
  • Visit the Zoo
  • Go for a drive & picnic at the beach
  • Spend the night at a hotel and have breakfast together in the morning
  • Visit the museum, Art Gallery or Sports Museum
  • Go to a cricket, tennis or Football match

Ensure that there is some time during the day that you can chat with your child and see how they are going. By love bombing your teen for the day and giving them your undivided attention, you are reinforcing that you love them and they matter immensely to you- enough for you to give up your entire day doing things that matter to them!
If you find that you are going through a difficult stage of the relationship with your teenager, the love bomb day can be a saving grace. Even if your child is angry and frustrated with you and is struggling to communicate, you will demonstrate to then that you love and care for them and that your relationship is important to you!

About once per year, my mum takes me out for lunch and for a shopping trip instead of going to school. I feel totally happy and loved when we have this special treat.

Jemma, age 14

You are sowing the flowers of tomorrow in the seeds of today

Author unknown

Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.

Marcelene Cox

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